Recently I had one or two thoughtful moments. Yes, now I know I don't have these very often and the amount I seem to have been having lately really do seem to be out of character but hey there we go, we all live and learn. A chain of events which are completely unrelated all came together to remind me that some things do not change, nor do they need to, and also that in some cases change is no bad thing. Sometimes it can really be to the good.
Firstly, last weekend I went back to my old uni stomping ground to bif farewell to an old team mate. Now, those of you who went to uni with me will already be holding your heads in your hands and groaning. "Oh God." I hear you sigh. "Jim went back to Fal and went out with the Tang Soo Do lot. That means drinking, bad dancing and general embarassing behaviour." And you'd be right to be fearful. Whenever I went out with the team at uni I always returned home steaming, woke up hungover the next morning and was completely useless to man and beast the next day. Not least my employers. Well guess what? That's exactly what happened!
I woke up in the morning with a mild case of amnesia and a MAJOR headache, but was it really a bad thing? Hardly. I hadn't seen any of these guys for eighteen months. Think about that, that's a year and half, and in that time I hadn't kept in touch with a great many of them except the occassional message to and from my Black Belt. So to be invited to an old team mate's leaving party out of the blue was quite touching that I had been thought of. What was even better though was that when we all got together again it was as if nothing had changed. Conversation pretty much took off from where we had all left it when we parted ways at Heathrow. Its the mark of strong friendship when you can spend long periods apart and come back together like nothing's changed. My point here is that you need some constants in your life, so some things staying exactly as they are probably isn't such a bad thing.
On the flip side of things, today I watched the guys I joined up with pass out without me. I wasn't the only back-phaser watching them, and I'd be lying if I said that there wasn't a little bit of jealousy deep down in my guts at seeing the guys march up the steps with their swords. "And there goes Jim off a bitter rant. Get the popcorn out guys this one is gonna be a winner!" Sorry guys, normal service will be resumed ASAP I promise, but there is no rant forthcoming.
The thing is that I stood out on the parade ground, watching my oppo's pass out (did I mention that?!), with my new division. If you ever need it hammering home to you that things in your fledgling naval career have most DEFINITELY changed then let me tell you, this is absolutely the best way for it to be done. The man who stood on the parade ground today was not the same man who stood there thirty weeks ago. Let me tell you now that this is a good thing, because thirty weeks ago I did not deserve to pass out, and it took failure to make that clear. As such, I changed. And that's the thing about change, it doesn't always feel good, or right, but it is always for the better.
Thursday, 20 December 2012
Sunday, 2 December 2012
"Where the bloody hell have you been?!"
This is a post dedicated to the advantages of taking the time out to think a situation through, or to gain some perspective, or just to recharge your batteries. Those of you who know me will already be worried because, as you well know, those are things which in my entire live I have NEVER done. It is an established and well known fact; Jim Robson, 100mph all the time, lots of noise and gesticulation, doesn't really think before acting/speaking/doing anything....doesn't get much actually done. Well recently I was forced to take an extended break, and it has given me the chance to both gain some perspective and recharge my batteries after running myself ragged with worry and pressure for no real reason since I joined BRNC.
I've been out of the regular training pipeline for nearly nine weeks. Over two months! Its not like its been an inactive or wasted two months, but its certainly been a long time. However, as Bond said in Skyfall "You should try it sometime, get away from it all it really lends perspective." I can already see my you shaking your heads in despair. "Oh God! Jim's comparing himself to Bond...again!" Well no not on this occassion, despite the obvious similarities and the fact that I will change my surname to Bond if I ever make to Commander, I'm merely pointing out that these are very profound words.
Two months out and no shortage of coaching has indeed lent some perspective to the way I approached the training since I arrived here. Putting myself under such pressure to do well, to impress, to get everything right first time, led to the inevitable choking which led to failure. A little break really has helped with that; i'm in a training environment, I'M NOT MEANT TO GET IT ALL RIGHT FIRST TIME! So lesson learned on that count, but it can be applied to any situation in life, if something really is giving you sleepless nights then just take a step outside the box. Are you going to lose your job over it? Probably not, so don't make the pressure on yourself any worse. Unless you are actually going to get fired, in which case you'd better get it bloody right!
Moving onto point two, recharging your batteries. For the first 3 of the last 9 weeks all I did was mooch around Germany, Wales and Devon going kayaking, caving and mountain biking. This ties in with the whole self induced pressure thing because what better way to take your mind of it all? And the fact that you haven't made the grade this time? Well trust me it goes right out the wind when your trying to avoid capsizing in rapids. My point is that gaining perspective is unavoidably linked with doing something to take your mind off of what's bugging you. It means that when you come back from your break, however long it may have been, you're fully refreshed with a fresh outlook on things, your confidence is high, you know you can achieve what you have to, and you're itching to get back into the fight.
So, when my mate asked me in the bar, "Where have you been lately?" I was able to reply:
"Enjoying failure. 007 reporting for duty." See, I told you there were obvious similarities!
I've been out of the regular training pipeline for nearly nine weeks. Over two months! Its not like its been an inactive or wasted two months, but its certainly been a long time. However, as Bond said in Skyfall "You should try it sometime, get away from it all it really lends perspective." I can already see my you shaking your heads in despair. "Oh God! Jim's comparing himself to Bond...again!" Well no not on this occassion, despite the obvious similarities and the fact that I will change my surname to Bond if I ever make to Commander, I'm merely pointing out that these are very profound words.
Two months out and no shortage of coaching has indeed lent some perspective to the way I approached the training since I arrived here. Putting myself under such pressure to do well, to impress, to get everything right first time, led to the inevitable choking which led to failure. A little break really has helped with that; i'm in a training environment, I'M NOT MEANT TO GET IT ALL RIGHT FIRST TIME! So lesson learned on that count, but it can be applied to any situation in life, if something really is giving you sleepless nights then just take a step outside the box. Are you going to lose your job over it? Probably not, so don't make the pressure on yourself any worse. Unless you are actually going to get fired, in which case you'd better get it bloody right!
Moving onto point two, recharging your batteries. For the first 3 of the last 9 weeks all I did was mooch around Germany, Wales and Devon going kayaking, caving and mountain biking. This ties in with the whole self induced pressure thing because what better way to take your mind of it all? And the fact that you haven't made the grade this time? Well trust me it goes right out the wind when your trying to avoid capsizing in rapids. My point is that gaining perspective is unavoidably linked with doing something to take your mind off of what's bugging you. It means that when you come back from your break, however long it may have been, you're fully refreshed with a fresh outlook on things, your confidence is high, you know you can achieve what you have to, and you're itching to get back into the fight.
So, when my mate asked me in the bar, "Where have you been lately?" I was able to reply:
"Enjoying failure. 007 reporting for duty." See, I told you there were obvious similarities!
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