"Fear is Temporary. Regret is Permanent" One for the Division

This one goes out to the whole division.  And already I can hear a chorus of voices, one of them distinctly Scottish (you know who you are!) and the other Scouse (three guesses who), piping up with a combination of happiness and dread.  "Here we go boys!  Throbson's latest offering has been deposited on the table of the Artful Gods for a fresh dose of mockery!  Beers out and let the games begin!"  Too bloody right ladies and gents.  This post is going to be emotional; its going to be a roller coaster...or not.  Really it depends on how my mood changes whilst I'm writing it; which could be at the drop of a hat.

I'd like to make a departure from the seemingly endless recurring theme of "lesson's learnt", which seems to have been going on for months now, and the whole "different person walking through the gates from the one who arrived mentality".  Yes I am regretting that latter one because it kept a certain person entertained no end for the best part of a fortnight, seriously it was like giving a kid something to colour in!  Endless amusement for a low cost, I mean if I didn't know better I'd say...but I'm getting distracted.  If I may move away from my aborted rant I shall return to the meat of this article; the importance of Gallows Humour.

I really have come to understand just how hugely important such humour is.  It doesn't matter how many times someone asks you if you've filled out that ASDA application form in the weeks following MARL, you'll laugh at it every time.  Likewise you'll laugh at being told that you're in "the wrong brief.  This is for people going on IFT."  You'll say exactly the same things to your mates, tells them not to worry, that Conqueror is an awesome package and you'll send them a postcard from Bulwark.  You'll do this right up until the day the results get published, and then the night before you won't sleep.

Also if you're me, you'll find yourself trying to sing yourself to sleep by endlessly singing "One day more" from Les Miz in your cabin.  What do you mean you haven't tried it yourself and that its just me?  Seriously?!  Damn!  Well in that case forget I said anything.  But back on track.  Unfortunately the dark humour can only take you so far.  It when you're stood around with your dick in your hands at 8am still waiting for the results with an increadibly squeaky ring piece that you realise that everyone else is just as nervous as you are.  Don't believe it?  Watch just how quickly 25 people can get up to an office when they're told that the results are ready to go.  Obviously I didn't see them, I was at the front despite being declared obese!  (I'm just big boned OK?!)

Ultimately though, despite all the nerves and the jibes, you all stand outside the office together, receive your results together, congratulate and console one another as a team.  FACT.  And afterwards all the nerves and fear you felt is all gone, whatever the result may have been.

"Fear is Temporary.  Regret is Permanent."